"Hey I was just about to call you,"

claimed Scott Lewallen. He continued, "What are you doing this weekend?"
I reply without hesitation, "Nothing. Why? You coming to San Diego?"
"I was thinking about it. Just for Friday night. Is that okay?"
"It's more than okay. Come down. Just let me know," I exclaim.

So that's how my weekend starts, with this phone call around 5 or 6 pm on Friday evening. For all that don't know, Scott Lewallen is one of my best friends. I met him through Atlantis; he works for them, as do I, but not in the same capacity. He works for them full-time. Anyway he did indeed decide to come down to San Diego. Upon arrival I met him at Rite Aid, located only a block from my house, typically where we intersect paths to purchase accouterments (aka: drinking paraphernalia). We go to my palace (that's not a typo), mix a drink, play songs and finally we head out to the club. Rich's is the main gay club here in San Diego, I would say, and we wanted something a bit "off" tonight. We started walking to a bar much closer called Brass Rail, and en route, right before rounding the corner to our destination, a random person (we presume a gay man) said "Girls! Don't go there! It's lesbian night!" Now we have nothing against lesbians but this was not the evening we had intended. We quickly shuffled past the bar as if it wasn't our intention to enter in the first place. Struck down we head over to Urban Mo's, a restaurant + bar here in SD. It was DEAD. And dreadful I might add. Shot down again, there was one place left to go before Rich's--Flicks, it's neighboring competition. As we started to arrive though, Flicks too wasn't as busy as we had hoped. Let me say this too--Scott didn't leave LA till about 6pm, that means he didn't get in till 8:30 pm (because of Friday night traffic) plus we had about 3 drinks at my place; it had to have been close to midnight and these places should all be packed. Last resort: Rich's.

We enter, pay cover and order drinks. It was also not terribly busy, but still a ton of people as usual. We decided that we would make our own event and started doing runway and posing in this long section of the room that neighbors an equally long bar. I might add that we were fierce too, and I'm not saying that because we were blitzed either. The bartender said to someone "The shows that way" and nodding his head to us. Work work work work.

Straight translation: "Work" is short for "work it" i.e. "work it out, miss thang!" or, "she worked that runway."

The night ended about 2 pm, we scampered over to close-by taco shop and ordered some delicious Mexican food. There a woman said to me, "You look really familiar, where have we met?" I let her keep guessing, asking, inquiring, begging, toiling away at where we had crossed paths previously... until I put her misery to rest and showered her in pictures of me in drag. She was a tray passer at a house party I went to for the Oscar Awards and naturally I went in a gown. Naturally. It was a red carpet event after all. This is the said photo that tipped her off.

Okay--left Mexican "restaurant" went back to my place and crashed. Saturday "morning" when we woke, we turned to each other and inquired on the day ahead. We both agreed to a quick jaunt to SeaWorld. It was fantastic! We went to the Wild Arctic (saw polar bears, baluga whales), Penguin Encounter (saw, well, penguins), Shark Reef (you guessed it...) and the Shamu Show (orca whales et al). It was a fun, quick SeaWorld adventure with hopefully many more to come. Scott decided it was probably too late to drive home and asked if he could stay another night. Shaa--yes--dumb. Saturday night we didn't really do anything. We drank at my place again, played music, web cammed with his sister--half way through the webcam we selected some choice wigs from Kitty's closet and webcamed in half-drag. She thought it was hilarious (I hope). Scott had some work to do, I had some drinking to do, and in the middle of everything we decided to write songs. What? I know. We wrote songs! It was sooo fantastic.

Sunday Scott left before lunch, I did homework all day and that was that. Sunday evening John (the boyfriend) was coming home from business trips. I went and picked him up at the airport and we had a nice, little dinner at our favorite Indian restaurant. It was sooo nice having him home. That was the weekend, everybody.

Now it's Wednesday, I came down with a horrible cold and neck ache (unassociated) and have been home from work for the past two days, on pain killers and drinking more fluids than I thought possible. I've gotta get better before Friday rolls around!

END OF TRANSMISSION

La La Land

Firstly, apologies for the slight delay in getting this next blog post out.

The following in the continuation of my adventures in LA, the weekend of Saturday April 18. Saturday: Didn't do too much this day. Met up with Vince and Allan before they headed to the GLAAD media awards. They were volunteer celebrity ushers--basically free personal assistants to an assigned Hollywood celeb. Side note: Vince got Jessica Alba--totally jeal. After that I went to Eldon's work and hung out with him. It was fairly slow for him that day so it was okay for me to just chill there. We talked and laughed and read each other's minds and it was great. After a couple hours there I went back to Eldon's house, read my book and took a well deserved nap. Eldon came home in about 2 hours, we got up, showered, mixed a drink and met up with Brad (another very good friend up in LA) for dinner. I forget where we went but it was great. It was right across the street from the Abbey, the super-popular nightclub + restaurant in the epicenter of West Hollywood. We ordered mojito-like super-limey drinks. EXCELLENT. Eldon--what were they called again? Definitely getting that again.

Following dinner Brad, Eldon and I went to an Instinct magazine party. It was a little slow, but there was a hosted bar, so we weren't going anywhere. As people started to trickle in we chatted and gabbed and drank more. Eldon and I wanted a change of scene so we popped over to Here bar and had a couple drinks there. We ran around, chatted with people and decided that we needed to get back to the other party. Eldon knew some people so he was able to zip right in. I had at least a handstamp something so I was very, very first in line, but still had to wait a bit. After getting back in I don't remember too much more, but I remember dancing a touch, chatting a bit more, but leaving shortly after arriving. Fun times.

Sunday was fabulous. We got up around something o'clock and went to our Chad & Brian house. Chad & Brian I met on the Atlantis cruises and they are, in mind, a dream. They are both beautiful, have great style, are the sweetest boys, and are as well off as I am crazy. I'm their friends because they are such good people, the wealthy thing is just perk. I was able to partake on this perk this day because they were having a pool party. One word: AMAZING. Their house is stunning, seated in the Hollywood hils. They are able to point out celebrities' homes from their place. Oh and the view, don't get me started. It was phenomenal. The only thing better than the view was the company. It was very much birds of a feather with their friends. They are all super nice and pleasant people. What a perfect day. The day started to escape us as it followed the sun and the pool party dwindled and faded. We all needed a bit of sustenance so we jumped into our vehicles and headed to a Mexican restaurant, again the name I don't know. In short we waiting around by the bar for about 2 or 3 hours, finally once sat it took us 45 minutes to order, eat and leave. Albeit a long wait it was fun hanging and drawing the weekend out a bit. I left Eldon's place in LA right at 10:00 pm, and made it home in my door at about 11:40 pm, a record time drive. There was no traffic whatsoever.

It was a fabulous weekend full of Britney and bars and boys, but, of course, my favorite part was spending quality time with some of the best people in the world. Love you all my LA friends!

Ringleader

Merry Christmas! What? But it's April. Well my story starts on Christmas: John, for Christmas, bought us tickets to see Britney Spears' latest tour LA. As the concert date approached John was summoned to Switzerland for work and, unable to go, gave me his ticket to take someone else in his place. I called Eldon, one of my best friends and he gracefully accepted. Let's get to it.

Eldon and I get to the Staples Center around 8:00pm, showtime, but of course concerts always run late so we were not bothered. After zipping through the rather short line the guard utters, "I'm sorry this isn't you're line. You need to enter of there, pointing at a "VIP Entrance" sign. I love signs like that. We scurry to the appropriate door and parade through the gateway, tickets in the air and spirits high. Speaking of spirits it was time for a drink. The VIP tickets also grant us access to a VIP lounge where cocktails are served. We run into the VIP lounge and notice there is all sorts of noise coming from the stadium hall--the concert started! It was only 8:15! At any rate we thought a drink was more urgent than seeing the opening act, Pussycat Dolls, sober. Drink we did and arrived at our seats with drinks in hand. The Pussycat Dolls... frankly... stunk. Their costumes were fun, they looked great, but the "singing" and the "dancing" was awful. It explained to my why they--a very, very popular group--would open up a show, rather than be the headline themselves.

Once the Pussycat Dolls finished their lackluster performance, the house lights went up and intermission began. Rather than an uneventful intermission, various performers came out and performed: hula hoopers and jugglers and tightrope walkers and ribbon dancers and a midget and all sorts of characters. It was fun, I really enjoyed it. Another drink and a couple circus performances later, the show finally begins.

I wont go into too much detail, but even saying that I'm sure I will. Firstly the concert itself was set-up like a three ring circus (one large circular stage in the middle and two smaller circular stages flanking the main stage). The stages were in the center of the arena as well, not pushed against a wall like most concerts. The show opened with her song "Circus"--she came down on a rotating pedestal from the ceiling dressed in a sparkling, radiant ringleader's costume. She played all her hits from her last two CDs with a couple of other fantastic songs like "Baby One More Time" and "Me Against the Music." It was really a great show. Keeping in line with the circus theme they had aerialists and magic and the whole nine yards during her show. The dancers were fabulous, the costumes were dazzling, and the music was great--sure it was all on a track, but I don't feel short-changed--when she's dancing her booty off on-stage, running around like a crazy person... err umm like... a Britney, I give her a little slack on the singing.

It was a fabulous weekend, a fabulous concert with fabulous friends and fabulous memories. Love to all.

Lady GaGa White Party 2009 Montage

This is in reference to my most previous posting. The quality is a little crappy but you can get a great idea of how amazing this concert was.

White Party 2009

Let's first lay the foundation: White Party is a big gay event held at several locations throughout the year (Miami and Paris to name a few), but one of the most popular would be Palm Springs' White Party held every Easter weekend. My friend Scott who also works for Atlantis (the cruise company I work with part-time) wanted my help at the Atlantis booth. In turn for me working I would get a weekend pass to the White Party. Lodging would need to be sourced on my own. Well it just so happens that one of my very best friends Michael was going to be at White Party as well and offered to share his place with me--count me in. I'm there.

Saturday I worked all day and hung out with Scott and Michael and had a fabulous time. Just fabulous. We talked, exchanged stories, laughed, drank, had photo shoots, reviewed said photos, laughed again, drank more and so on. Well Saturday night was the actual, like, WHITE PARTY party. It was held at the convention center and they fill the place with lights and amazing sound equipment and some decor and lots of half naked men. Sounds awful, huh? Well besides a ton of great friends rendezvousing at the White Party (Scott, Mike, Eldon, Marky, Brad), Lady GaGa was also going to perform at the White Party. If you don't know who Lady GaGa is, slap yourself on my behalf, youtube her posthaste, and the continue reading the blog.

The room was aglow with white costumes. Light effects reflected off the bodies on the earth below, shimmering and shining like an ocean. A silken fabric hangs on the far wall, flush to a stage. It's a screen. The music stops. The fabric bursts with light--a projection is now shown. A movie. A movie of Lady GaGa. The crowd is both silenced and energized while the images flash on the draping fabric. The clip shows Lady GaGa in an interrogation setting. The room in all white. She in all black, sitting in a chair. Her hands stained with what we presume blood. A mans voice sternly inquires, "Why did you do it?" she replies confidently, "For art." The fabric drops to the floor and behind the screen is a silhouette of GaGa. She commands the stage and sings to onlookers. The performance shatters worlds.

I was expecting a quick 2 or 3 song set and the party would go on. No. Lady GaGa pulled out every song in her repertoire, even a new one not yet released, for a full hour and a half. I was blown away. There was nothing like her performance that I have ever seen, and I recommend each and everyone one of you, my blogettes, to see her should you have the chance. Following are some of the kooky, bizarre, quirky lines that she delivered between songs:

"Sometimes I feel like a blonde bitch in a bunch of bubbles, and I don't give a fuck." (meanwhile she was wearing a suit made of large plastic bubbles)

"In the year 3009, all the kids of New York City ran out of the nightclubs and killed the paparazzi" (the story continued but I don't remember it really)

"This next song is about a vibrator" (As she plays her song "Rubber Man"

"Have you ever told such a little lie, and you would do anything--even kill--to make it come true? Some people say Lady GaGa is a lie. And you know what? They are right. And every day I kill to make Lady GaGa a reality."

"I have no money... because every penny I make I spend on my show." (just after this line she rides onto the stage in a scooter covered in Denim and rhinestones)

"I swear on my denim scooter I will never betray you, my beautiful gay fans."

"All you need is music, art, and each other"


The show was a phenomenon I died, went to heaven, went to hell and came back from both with GaGa blazed into my memory. The party was fabulous, the weekend terrific, my friends even closer and a part of GaGa with me.

September - Cry For You

Sorta bizarre video. Dancing is good. Overall it has much more potential, but the song is really catchy. Enjoy.

To Whom it May Concern

To the patrons of the men's bathroom in my office building: Gentlemen and Sirs,

As you already know, we share a common space by the elevator in the hallway known as the men's restroom. I'd like to set out a couple of "guidelines" in the following which are not open to discussion:

1. First and foremost, wash your hands. This may seem like a childish and outdated practice but please, for god sakes, think of where your hands are going to be AFTER your done fondling your gentiles. Your computer? Your phone? Food? Gross. Pigs.

2. If you have the urge to let out a sign while urinating, maybe you should have done it hours ago; keep your sounds and signals of satisfaction to yourselves--internally.

3. Don't talk on your cell phone in the bathroom. YOU'RE NOT THAT IMPORTANT. It's proof that you're a total asshole.

4. Do not--I repeat--Do not bring reading materials into the stalls. This isn't your throne, it's not even your house. Don't stay a while--get in and get out. End of story.

5. FLUSH. Self explanatory.

6. Spitting? While you're on the toilet? Onto the floor? Giving me a god damn break. That's just disgusting. You should be slapped.

7. Under no circumstances should you believe it okay to whistle. This really is applied to all situations everywhere but especially applicable in a small room with hard, sound-reflective surfaces in the company of pure strangers.

8. I understand you may happen to run into coworkers or even arrive at the same time, but do not carry conversations or tell stories. No one wants to hear you, especially your colleague.

9. Possibly the most ridiculous is the act of leaning against the wall. If you're too heavy to hold up your own weight, go to the gym. If you're too tired to stand on your own two feet, maybe pee sitting down. If you are just a lazy asshole, maybe you should just pee in your pants instead of going to the bathroom at all. Seriously, you look like a tool when you lean against the wall while peeing. (Please note: when intoxicated would be only an acceptable time to do this.)

10. Please eat sensible meals, filled with nutrients and plenty of fiber. It's good for you. And it benifits me: the last thing I--or anyone for that matter--wants to hear is your curry in a hurry resonating through the plumping of the 3rd floor. That burrito grande wasn't such a good idea after all, Shitsy McSplatterbutt? And whats with the taking a shit at 9:12 am? You couldn't have planned it out and sent your logs downstream before leaving the house? Do you have a 2+ hour commute? I am LITERALLY over your shit.


Your mandatory cooperation is appreciated.

Best,


Steven Shyne

Creature Comforts

This is a British show that I just love. Each little episode is about different categories and it's just so fun. Essentially they interview the great British public and put those recording to animal personifications. There are very subtle pieces of comedy so keep an ear out. Enjoy.

Little Italy Walking Tour

Thursday afternoon I received an email at work to see if I was interested in going (for free) on a walking tour of Little Italy. Everyone reading my blog surely knows what I do for a living (and if you don't I'd be happy to explain it to you) so you know it was a "professional development" tour of sorts, but also you will know I love a good walking tour. I'd spoken and exchanged emails with this tour operator before but have never had the pleasure of selling his tour. Well, I accepted and what a treat! John and I just got back from the tour, and it was something else. I'll keep my synopsis brief.

The guide, Anthony, is a New York American-Italian who now lives in San Diego. He had an assistant who is from Rome (like, she still calls that home but lives here for now) and the assistant helped with passing photos out to making sure the headsets worked properly. Oh the headsets! Each person had a headset that received audio from the guide via a microphone, so you could be in the back of the group and still hear what he's yacking about. I loved it. Okay so basically the tour covered San Diego history and what made Italians migrate to San Diego in the first place along with geography, culture, community, religion, commerce and, San Diego's own renaissance of sorts with the revitalization of Little Italy. Very cool. Highly recommend. So here's the kicker--he just does private tours really, only does public tours (I believe) it was every first Saturday. Let me know if you're interested and I'd be happy to give you a full download and put you in touch. If I didn't say it before--highly recommended!

Off to dinner...signing out.